Kim DotCom – King of the Internetz Deposed

January 21st, 2012 by invasive · 1 Comment · breaking news, win

Has the King of the Internetz been deposed? Oh, you don’t know who the Internetz King is? Contrary to belief, it’s not Homer Simpson, but this guy – Kim Dotcom.

Kim Dotcom - Internetz King

That’s right, folks. Now you know why you have to add .com at the end of almost every internet address; that particular nomenclature was named after this guy.

Alright, I’m full of crap, but I bet that’s the kind of story Kim Dotcom tells unsuspecting people. In fact, the Daily Mail calls him Dr. Evil. I think he’s more likely to be Dr. Evil’s dad, who as you recall would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Upon further reflection, maybe he’s more like Fat Bastard.

Kim Dotcom is MEGA

Everything about Kim Dotcom, aka Kim Schmitz, aka Kim Tim Jim Vestor, is mega. That’s why he runs the infamous, the file-hosting website that, along with sites like, is a hotbed of digital pirate activity. I should say was a hotbed of activity, since the US government just shut it down.

Mega Upload Shut Down


As for the 37 year old Mr. Big himself, well police raided his $24 million mansion in New Zealand, broke into his panic room (not much of a panic room if people can break in) and arrested him. (He was found clinging to his sawed off shotgun.)

The Megaupload site was part of Kim’s Hong Kong-based company Megaupload Limited, which also ran MegaVideo, MegaPix, MegaLive (live video streaming), MegaBox (music-hosting), and MegaPorn. As far as I can tell, all these domain names have been Mega-seized.

On January 5th of this year, indictments were filed in the US against Kim Dotcom, Július Benčko (aka “Juice”, a Slovak web designer who worked on , and 5 other associates. Dr. Evil was taken in along with Finn Batato, Mathias Ortmann and Bram van der Kolk by the New Zealand police (Juice is still at large). The Kiwis are cooperating with the United States Justice department and the FBI, as well as Hong Kong authorities, Netherlands authorities, London authorities, Germans, Canadians, etc. Yep, the whole freakin world banded together to take Dr. Evil down. They are serious. Kim Dotcom faces charges of copyright infringement, racketeering, and money laundering. He could get as many as 55 years in prison if he is extradited to the United States and convicted. Kim has been accused of costing Hollywood about $500 million because of all the pirated content his sites have hosted.

Mega Busted

As part of the arrests, officers served 10 search warrants at businesses and homes around the city of Auckland. Police seized a bunch of stuff from Dotcom’s property, including a Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe (worth at least $400K), a bunch of Mercedes, 2 shotguns, and an assortment of valuable pieces of art. In addition, more than $8 million sitting in bank accounts was frozen. Prosecutors called Kim’s company a:

Mega Conspiracy, a worldwide criminal organisation whose members engaged in criminal copyright infringement and money laundering on a massive scale

They really make it sound like some serious James Bond shiz, something that should make Mr. Big feel pretty good, since he loves feeling like a spy.

Here are some more awesome facts about Kim Dotcom, a man who lives large in every sense of the word:

  • He made at least £27million from MegaUpload in 2010
  • was granted residency in New Zealand after he invested £5million in government bonds and donated to the Christchurch earthquake fund
  • has hired Bob Bennett to defend him (Bennett represented Bill Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky scandal)
  • His cars have license plates with names like STONED, HACKER, GUILTY, CEO, and GOD.
  • Has been treated with kid gloves in Germany. Afer being convicted in of fraud/embezzlement, he got a fine and 2 years probation, the judge saying it was just “youthful foolishness.”
  • Has a hacker name of Kimble (from The Fugitive)
  • Created Megacar, a Mercedes that sports a wireless computer, 16 phone lines, video conferencing, and 4 televisions. The idea was to create a vehicle attractive to diplomats and politicians
  • loves fireworks, shotguns, and wrap-around shades
  • Takes part in the Gumball 3000 rally.

Believe it or not, Megaupload had support from some celebrities like Kanye West, Lil Jon, Mary J. Blige, Wil I Am, Snoop Dogg, Alycia Keys, and Brett Ratner (LOL!), who agreed to appear in a commercial, as seen below:

They even did a song that pissed off Universal Music Group who tried to take the song down from YouTube. Ultimately, they failed to do so.

Since the arrests, the hacker group Anonymous hit the websites of the U.S. Justice Department, FBI, and other music corporations, with a DDOS attack. Of course, they were already pissed over SOPA and PIPA, so this didn’t help matters.

- Bill

Sources for this article included: The Daily Mail, MSNBC, and The Financial Times.

One Comment so far ↓

Leave a Comment