Kim DotCom – King of the Internetz Deposed

January 21st, 2012 by invasive · breaking news, win

Has the King of the Internetz been deposed? Oh, you don’t know who the Internetz King is? Contrary to belief, it’s not Homer Simpson, but this guy – Kim Dotcom.

Kim Dotcom - Internetz King

That’s right, folks. Now you know why you have to add .com at the end of almost every internet address; that particular nomenclature was named after this guy.

Alright, I’m full of crap, but I bet that’s the kind of story Kim Dotcom tells unsuspecting people. In fact, the Daily Mail calls him Dr. Evil. I think he’s more likely to be Dr. Evil’s dad, who as you recall would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Upon further reflection, maybe he’s more like Fat Bastard.

Kim Dotcom is MEGA

Everything about Kim Dotcom, aka Kim Schmitz, aka Kim Tim Jim Vestor, is mega. That’s why he runs the infamous Megaupload.com, the file-hosting website that, along with sites like Rapidshare.com, is a hotbed of digital pirate activity. I should say was a hotbed of activity, since the US government just shut it down.

Mega Upload Shut Down

MEGAFAIL

As for the 37 year old Mr. Big himself, well police raided his $24 million mansion in New Zealand, broke into his panic room (not much of a panic room if people can break in) and arrested him. (He was found clinging to his sawed off shotgun.)

The Megaupload site was part of Kim’s Hong Kong-based company Megaupload Limited, which also ran MegaVideo, MegaPix, MegaLive (live video streaming), MegaBox (music-hosting), and MegaPorn. As far as I can tell, all these domain names have been Mega-seized.

On January 5th of this year, indictments were filed in the US against Kim Dotcom, Július Benčko (aka “Juice”, a Slovak web designer who worked on Megaupload.com) , and 5 other associates. Dr. Evil was taken in along with Finn Batato, Mathias Ortmann and Bram van der Kolk by the New Zealand police (Juice is still at large). The Kiwis are cooperating with the United States Justice department and the FBI, as well as Hong Kong authorities, Netherlands authorities, London authorities, Germans, Canadians, etc. Yep, the whole freakin world banded together to take Dr. Evil down. They are serious. Kim Dotcom faces charges of copyright infringement, racketeering, and money laundering. He could get as many as 55 years in prison if he is extradited to the United States and convicted. Kim has been accused of costing Hollywood about $500 million because of all the pirated content his sites have hosted.

Mega Busted

As part of the arrests, officers served 10 search warrants at businesses and homes around the city of Auckland. Police seized a bunch of stuff from Dotcom’s property, including a Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe (worth at least $400K), a bunch of Mercedes, 2 shotguns, and an assortment of valuable pieces of art. In addition, more than $8 million sitting in bank accounts was frozen. Prosecutors called Kim’s company a:

Mega Conspiracy, a worldwide criminal organisation whose members engaged in criminal copyright infringement and money laundering on a massive scale

They really make it sound like some serious James Bond shiz, something that should make Mr. Big feel pretty good, since he loves feeling like a spy.

Here are some more awesome facts about Kim Dotcom, a man who lives large in every sense of the word:

  • He made at least £27million from MegaUpload in 2010
  • was granted residency in New Zealand after he invested £5million in government bonds and donated to the Christchurch earthquake fund
  • has hired Bob Bennett to defend him (Bennett represented Bill Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky scandal)
  • His cars have license plates with names like STONED, HACKER, GUILTY, CEO, and GOD.
  • Has been treated with kid gloves in Germany. Afer being convicted in of fraud/embezzlement, he got a fine and 2 years probation, the judge saying it was just “youthful foolishness.”
  • Has a hacker name of Kimble (from The Fugitive)
  • Created Megacar, a Mercedes that sports a wireless computer, 16 phone lines, video conferencing, and 4 televisions. The idea was to create a vehicle attractive to diplomats and politicians
  • loves fireworks, shotguns, and wrap-around shades
  • Takes part in the Gumball 3000 rally.

Believe it or not, Megaupload had support from some celebrities like Kanye West, Lil Jon, Mary J. Blige, Wil I Am, Snoop Dogg, Alycia Keys, and Brett Ratner (LOL!), who agreed to appear in a commercial, as seen below:

They even did a song that pissed off Universal Music Group who tried to take the song down from YouTube. Ultimately, they failed to do so.

Since the arrests, the hacker group Anonymous hit the websites of the U.S. Justice Department, FBI, and other music corporations, with a DDOS attack. Of course, they were already pissed over SOPA and PIPA, so this didn’t help matters.

- Bill

Sources for this article included: The Daily Mail, MSNBC, and The Financial Times.

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Friday the 13th: S&P Slashes Credit Ratings

January 13th, 2012 by invasive · breaking news, Currencies, fail, loller euro, markets

Friday the 13th - Slashing the EURO

Is hockey-masked killer Jason Voorhees the new President of Standard & Poor’s Ratings Services? It would seem so, as on this day, Friday the 13th, it was reported that S&P is downgrading the credit ratings of 5 European nations.

In a decision that is expected to be announced around 4:30pm EST, S&P will

  • Downgrade France one notch, from AAA to AA+
  • Downgrade Austria one notch, from AAA to AA+
  • Downgrade Italy to BBB+
  • Downgrade Spain two notches
  • Downgrade Portugal two notches

Officials say that Germany, the Netherlands, Finland, and Luxembourg will keep their AAA ratings intact.

The euro fell more than 1 per cent to a 16-month low against the US dollar; US stocks are down in reaction to the slashing; obviously not huge fans of horror movies. (And what is the world economy if not one unstoppable horror franchise?)

Said French Finance Minister François Baroin:

“It’s not good news, but it is not a catastrophe. It is not the ratings agencies that dictate the policy of France.”

Hmm, sounds suspiciously like the countless police, camp counselors, and teenage campers who refused to believe that the local woods slasher is still alive and kicking.

Sources: CNBC, New York Times, Financial Times

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Bank of America: Operation GTFO

January 13th, 2012 by invasive · all ur bankz

Troubled Bank of America may have to commence with Operation GTFO if their financial troubles get worse, according to an article in the Wall Street Journal. In other words, if things get bad enough, they may have to consider a retreat from certain parts of the country.

Bank of America - Profits or GTFO

Executives at the Charlotte, N.C., financial giant put the potential move on a list of emergency scenarios submitted to the Federal Reserve last year. While people close to Bank of America insist that no retreat is imminent, even the possibility of selling branches and losing customers it spent huge sums to lure underscores the depth of its problems.

The article goes on to talk about BofA’s current and past problems. Back in the late 90s/early 00s, the bank went hogwild, extending into every corner of the union. It suffered greatly when the housing crisis hit and our economy went off the cliff. It didn’t help matters that then CEO Ken Lewis pushed through Bank of America’s purchase of Countrywide Financial. Good one, Lewis. Hey, at least you didn’t preside over the AOL/Time Warner fiasco, right? (Ken should put that on his resume: *not responsible for the AOL/Time Warner merger). BofA’s problems continue today, with its share price declining over 50% within the past year. J.P. Morgan recently took away their crown for largest bank by assets.

Ken Lewis Explosion Walk

Current CEO Brian Moynihan also has a plan to sell shares tied to the performance of Merrill Lynch, which BofA picked up in 2008 and is doing way better.

The drastic moves would be seriously considered only if Bank of America needs to raise more capital to cushion itself from mortgage woes and other turmoil. Mr. Moynihan, other top executives and directors of the sprawling bank are grappling with scenarios that were unthinkable even during the worst moments of the financial crisis.

Whatever will we do if Operation GTFO is put into motion? Where will we bank for exorbitant fees? We shudder at the thought of going to credit unions. They just seem too nice if you ask us.

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Kick the Can Necktie – Happy Holidays from Van Eck Global!

December 22nd, 2011 by alyx · Currencies, loller dollar, loller euro

Van Eck killed it last year with the “Helicopter Drop” Bernanke necktie, and this year, they’ve done it again.

Reader Bart L. shared these photos with me of this holiday season’s must-have neckwear: from the Vineyard Vines custom collection, this year’s tie is a tribute to the euro crisis, in the form of kicking the can down the road.

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What’s a Bored Exec To Do?

December 11th, 2011 by alyx · breaking news, fail

Two of Research In Motion’s execs found themselves in a dilly of a pickle recently – but not because the dog ate their BlackBerry. No, because they got a little too drunk on a flight to Beijing. You might infer they were a bit rowdy. The two were eventually charged with ‘mischief’, ordered to paid restitution and were given their walking papers by $RIMM. Recently, CBC News was able to get details of the case – here’s the ‘mischief’ George Campbell and Paul Alexander Wilson actually got into:

The two boarded a flight from Toronto to Beijing already drunk, according to documents obtained by CBC News, and proceeded to badger attendants for more booze once onboard before falling asleep. After a brief snooze they carried on drinking, before starting a loud argument between themselves…Cabin crew eventually subdued them, using plastic restraints as handcuffs, and backing this up with adhesive tape. Nevertheless the two “chewed their way through their restraints,” and began to kick up a stink again.

There was also a bout of wrestling in there somewhere. If anyone has the video, get in touch with Joe Francis – we hear he’s working on a series called Execs Gone Wild.

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