Doge In The Guardian: Maybe Cats *Are* Getting A Little Played Out

February 7th, 2014 by alyx · breaking news

Screen Shot 2014-02-07 at 8.20.41 AM

(h/t Buzzfeed)

In the US this morning, maybe errbody wants to talk about jobs, or lack thereof, but in the UK there’s a real news story: this ad in the Guardian’s financial section is probably the last thing you’d expect to see running there, in full color no less – first, it’s Doge, the internets’ favorite Shiba, and second, you can’t even tell who the advertiser is. SUCH MYSTERY, SO RANDOMS.

Turns out this the work of a startup, DueDil, that specializes in company data. The reason they put Doge in the newspaper?Many viral, wow:

So a few of you might be wondering how doge made it into your newspaper this morning. Well… we admit it, it was us. But why, you may ask. Did we want to kill the meme by making it mainstream? Do we hate the internet? No. We actually thought we’d do something nice.

We’ll be honest. We were having a hard time deciding which advert to run with our free advertising space the Guardian so kindly offered us for winning their Small Business Networks competition. We tried a traditional advert, which was nice, but then we remembered we’re not a traditional kind of company.

One can only assume this will spread around a bit and get them far more awareness than print would have. As an aside, they’re now giving away an ad in the same position in the Guardian, so by all means go there and tell ‘em why they should give it to you. Well played, DueDil.

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Facebook To Die Of Dysentery?

January 22nd, 2014 by alyx · breaking news, markets


Given how much Facebook seems to love using data, maybe it’s about time someone gave it a taste of its own medicine and used some data on it. Two Princeton researchers (in the aerospace and mechanical engineering department, for whatever that’s worth) applied an epidemiological model to the rise (“infection”) and fall (“infectious recovery”) of MySpace, then extrapolated to determine when Facebook’s collapse would occur if it followed a similar line of best fit.

The conclusion seems to be that only 2 out of 10 of you will be logging into Kudzubook as of 2017. The rise and fall of social networks like Friendster and MySpace used to be merely lulzworthy, but Facebook has a share or two outstanding on the open market, or so we hear.

I read the paper in full as I’m a big data nerd, and it applies a lot of math to Google Trends data, something I am also notorious for doing. Trends come and go, and if we were talking just about the core Facebook product losing all its oxen when it attempted to ford a river, I’d be highly inclined to agree with that as many people I know have abandoned it. If you’re betting on the stock, though, you’re betting on management’s ability to develop or acquire something more interesting, innovative, engaging, or nefarious enough to continue to capture eyeball share, personal data and revenue. So take the study with a grain, or pile, of salt not unlike what a banker from Boston probably had in the back of his wagon when he set off on the Oregon Trail.

CNBC commentary on the story:

(No position in FB other than a user account that exists mostly to post pictures of my dog, and occasionally, food.)

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First Tulips, Now Fishsticks – The Launch Of Coinye

January 8th, 2014 by alyx · Currencies

Seems like everyone’s starting up their own cryptocurrency these days. Obviously, there’s Bitcoin, and Litecoin, and Dogecoin (Dogecoin assuredly would’ve been posted here ages ago had we not been on taking a break to focus on our actual jobs – the Xmas Dogecoin hack was *thisclose* to getting me out of retirement), and countless othes, and now… there’s Coinye.

Per Vice:

Since a Shiba with a limited vocabulary can have their own a coin, the opportunities for variations are as endless and ludicrous as the idea of Lil Wayne opening his own theme park. The newest iteration, CoinYe West, is evident of how the lunacy can stretch. Launching January 11 with the catchphrase “WE AIN’T MININ’, WE PICKIN’”, the system promises “no premine, no screwed up fake “fair” launches, shyster devs, muted channels, and f**ked up wallets”.

That January 11th launch had to be accelerated, though. Kanye West’s butthurt is legion, and naturally, he sent a cease and desist letter. Coinye’s creators reacted in the only sensible manner possible, which was to accelerate the launch to January 7th, and alter the newly minted currency’s appearance to something I could not possibly improve with photoshop:


It’s really a shame they didn’t pick someone who would actually appreciate this sort of tribute – seems like Lil B would be alright with Basedcoin, y’know?


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Happy 2014 : Meet The New Boss

January 7th, 2014 by invasive · breaking news

Janet Terror!

Hello everyone, and Happy New Year! We are sure you have noticed that updates to LOLFED are few and far between these days. We have a New Year’s resolution to try to rectify that. Of course, our resolutions last about a week and then it’s back to the usual neglect. But we hope 2014 started off well for you.

What’s new? Well, Benny is leaving. So sad to see him go; he gave us lots of material, after all. But we just learned that Janet Yellen, former President of the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco and recently Vice Chairperson of the Federal Reserve System, has been confirmed to succeed Benny as Chairperson of the FED. According to the story in Politico, the U.S. Senate voted 56-26 on Monday to confirm the appointment. As you recall, President Obama nominated her on October 9 of last year.

Yellen will start her new gig on February 1st and she will be the first woman to head the FED in its first century of existence. Obama said that Yellen “sounded the alarm bell early about the housing market bubble and excesses in the financial markets before the recession. She calls it like she sees it.” A speech she gave in San Francisco in 2005 confirms that she was indeed aware of a housing bubble, but as you can see, she thought “the economy would be able to absorb the shock” of a deflation, comparing it to a “bump in the road.” Good call, Janet.

As Zero Hedge states, Janet will be taking over at a time of “pivoting policy.” But personally, I have yet to see a true taper. The so-called tapering that happened last month means that Q.E. is reduced from $85 billion per month to “only” $75 billion. Wow, such courage!

So how will Janet run things in 2014? Will she, as Gary Kaltbaum suggests, “make Bernanke look like Paul Volcker”? Will the new boss be the same as the old boss? I guess we’ll find out.

- Bill G

P.S. : I guess that leaderboard will have to change… again…

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Asleep On The Job?

June 11th, 2013 by alyx · all ur bankz


Every now and then, we all slip up on the job. Maybe we forget to reply to an email, or don’t commit a file to a repo, or we fall asleep on our keyboard and accidentally transfer $222 million to the wrong account:

An obviously tired German bank employee fell asleep on his keyboard and accidentally transformed a minor transfer into a 222 million euro ($293 million) order, a court heard Monday.

The Hessen labour court heard that the man was supposed to transfer just 62.40 euros from a bank account belonging to a retiree, but instead “fell asleep for an instant, while pushing onto the number 2 key on the keyboard” — making it a huge 222,222,222.22 euro order.


His supervisor got fired for not catching the issue immediately, but appealed, and that’s how this story became breaking news. Of course the court gave him his job back, though it sounds like they should have also issued an edict to serve better coffee in that bank’s back offices…