Okay, picture this. You’re minding your own business in the big Victorian house you bought in 2002, well before the market was frothy, when you suddenly get a notice in the mail that says that your lender wants you to insure the home for a million dollars for full replacement value, despite that sum being about five times what you actually paid for the house, and the house being in a somewhat sketchy part of town where no sane individual would choose to rebuild a rambling $1M Victorian. You might call them up and be like “WTF”, right?

That’s what Patrick Rodgers of Philadelphia did, and Wells couldn’t be bothered to answer him. Then he took them to court to get answers. They couldn’t be bothered to show up there either:

Frustrated by a dispute with Wells Fargo Home Mortgage and by his inability to get answers to questions, the West Philadelphia homeowner took the mortgage company to court last fall.

When Wells Fargo still didn’t respond, Rodgers got a $1,000 default judgment against it for failing to answer his formal questions, as required by a federal law called the Real Estate Settlement Procedures Act.

And when the mortgage company didn’t pay – does something sound familiar? – Rodgers turned to Philadelphia’s sheriff.

I can just imagine how it went when Wells got served with papers to let it know the contents of one of its Wells Fargo Home Mortgage offices were going to be sold at auction to pay Rodgers’ $1000 judgment plus $200 in court costs:

John Stumpf: This is a first class financial institution worth billions! We have more offices in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills, London, Paris, Rome, and Gstaad…!

Philadelphia sheriff: In Philadelphia, it’s worth 1200 bucks.

Okay maybe it didn’t go down like that. BUT IT SHOULD HAVE.

Wells is one of the few lenders that requires homeowners get insurance for full replacement value; most just make sure you’re insured for the market value, but Wells takes the role of the nagging parent who is SURE you’ll want to rebuild as is, instead of buying another home at the same price point (because really, there is NO shortage of vacant homes at reasonable prices these days…)

A spokesman for Wells says they are in the process of satisfying the judgment, and that they might have responded to the questions that sparked this suit in the first place, but it doesn’t sound like the homeowner has seen it yet. I doubt this will end up with Rodgers going home with a box full of $WFC’s office supplies, but it’s a fun story, nonetheless.