Since the details of Geithner’s cunning new plan began leaking out over the weekend, I have spent nearly every waking moment reading it, researching it, considering it, arguing about it with alyx and writing up a detailed opinion on its effectiveness and likelihood of succeeding. It’s long, so it’s going behind a “More” cut.
Really? Timmy, you’ve more or less been on the job since November, and this hashed-together crap is the best you can come up with? You do realize that this is the entire national economy you’re trying to rescue here, right? What, did you start writing this plan of yours last Friday afternoon, knowing it was due first thing Monday morning? That might be okay for your weekly status report, but dammit, this is more important and might require just a liiiittle more work.
No, really. What was your thought process on this one? Did you think the TARP and TALF were such raging successes that you decided you’d just take the key elements from each and mix them up together, like when you mix up two different colors of Play-Doh and what you end up with is some wretched lump that bears no resemblance to anything found in nature and is completely useless in making anything except maybe a wad of elephant dung? Did you even try counting the metaphors for what you did, in that last sentence?
I really want to know, which part of this you thought was the real masterstroke: the reliance on a market that caused the problem in the first place to fix itself, with money that you do not have, or the part where you socialize even MORE bad assets and losses without socializing any of the possible gains? How about the part where you severely underestimate the actual risk involved here? Or maybe the complete and utter misunderstanding of the actual problem itself? I knew that you and Hank Paulson shared a common employer; I did not realize that you were actually the reincarnation of the Great Hammer himself.
Paul Krugman, as usual, has a much better explanation of why this is a horrid, horrid thing to have done than I could muster, because his Nobel endows him with magical powers of understanding. I am thinking I need to write up a list of Paul Krugman Facts, including such 100% true gems as “Paul Krugman’s tears can cure global financial crises. Too bad he has never cried.” and “There is no chin behind Paul Krugman’s beard, only a complex economic formula.”
Jacob Stevens // Mar 23, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Next up, TTRP. Troubled TARP Relief Program.
TonyS // Mar 23, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Ok, the government couldn’t get it done… I’m thinking we should send Anonymous after Wall St, and call it a day.
alyx // Mar 23, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Krugman completely pwned this thing, and I was gonna post a Ghost Of Hank Paulson Past, Present & Future but I think your flaming multitudes o’ fail have it covered.
Jason // Mar 23, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Has no one started a movement to draft Krugman to be the Treasury Secretary?
RobT // Mar 23, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Paul Krugman once raised Adam Smith from the dead. Then killed him again. Just because he could.
Concerned 27 year old // Mar 23, 2009 at 2:43 pm
What does this MULTI-TRILLION dollar deficit mean to the younger generation? I am 27 and I am VERY concerned about what is going on right now. What can we do? What can I do? How the heck are we going to recover from all this?? thanks in advance.
'mouse // Mar 23, 2009 at 2:53 pm
@27, now worries, dude. Inflation’ll cure that pesky debt.
As for Krugman for treasury sect. I’d like to second that motion. It’d get rid of the old guard and make him put his money where his mouth is. Win-Win
Jason // Mar 23, 2009 at 2:53 pm
How’s your Mandarin?
TonyS // Mar 23, 2009 at 3:16 pm
LOL jebus, Jason… never before have I encountered a comment so simultaneously humorous, specifically true, and deeply depressing. You win 3 internets. And I win a drinking problem.
Fartles // Mar 23, 2009 at 3:18 pm
好!
Jason // Mar 23, 2009 at 3:47 pm
And Fartles shall lead us.
TonyS // Mar 23, 2009 at 4:34 pm
I, for one, welcome our new flatulent overlords.
Anonymous Coward // Mar 23, 2009 at 8:12 pm
请你们欣赏：
1. If Paul Krugman is too late to solve the financial crisis, time better slow the fuck down.
2. Paul Krugman can divide by zero.
3. There is no capitalism. Just a list of banks that Paul Krugman has allowed to live.
4. There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Paul Krugman’s computer. Paul Krugman is always in control.
5. Paul Krugman counted to infinity – twice.
6. If you have five dollars and Paul Krugman has five dollars, Paul Krugman has more money than you.
7. Paul Krugman does not sleep. He calculates.
8. Paul Krugman once challenged Chuck Norris in a “Who has more testicles?” contest. Paul Krugman won by 5.
9. Paul Krugman’s beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China.
10. Paul Krugman invented economics.
11. When taking the SAT, write “Paul Krugman” for every answer. You will score a 2000.
12. Paul Krugman fully discloses his own vulnerabilities: none.
13. Remember – if you ever lose your password, you can still ask Paul Krugman.
14. When Paul Krugman divides the circumference of a circle by the radius, the answer is rational.
Laura J // Mar 25, 2009 at 8:02 am
http://www.publicradio.org/columns/marketplace/scratchpad/2009/03/recession_rock.html
Economic analysis | The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior - Contrarian Stock Market Investing News - Featuring Bargain Stocks // Mar 25, 2009 at 12:20 pm
[...] Here’s my quick take: Clearly the market liked the plan, based on Monday’s action – or maybe the market just liked ANY semblance of a plan – and just as clearly a number of commentators did not. Paul Krugman hated it, for example. So did the guy over at LOLFed. [...]