Not sure who REALLY is to blame for the rapid decline in the Dow? It just might be that everything went downhill after we let these little blue guys ring the bell. Just a quick item sent to me by Jason:
Bill pointed out that the Smurfs are actually a bunch of got-darned pinko commies, so maybe it makes sense:
It’s my birthday, but I guess I should give up hope of anyone buying me any drinks or getting any presents, given this bloodbath. Now that the dust has settled, it looks like the DOW is down over five hundred points, with fail of similiar magnitude in the Nasdaq and S+P.
What happened today? Interventions in the Japanese and Swiss currency markets? Check. Forecast for higher unemployment when the numbers come out tomorrow? Check. QE3? Yes, we can haz. Oh and that whole debt and downgrade thing. So we might’ve broken an eight-day losing streak yesterday, but today, not so much.
Given the volatility index is also through the roof, who the knows what’s next… any bets for tomorrow?
What with all this impending-default talk and China holding over $1.1 trillion in US treasuries, it makes sense that anyone in China with half a brain might start looking for actual physical assets right about now. And that’s what one Chinese family has done, dropping down $3.3 million to acquire the residence of ‘N Sync poptart and Dancing With The Stars contestant Joey Fatone:
A family from China closed Friday on the purchase of pop star Joey Fatone’s Windermere-area home for $3.3 million. It drew a lot of attention with the celebrity status of its former “N Sync owner, said Roger Soderstrom, broker for Stirling Sotheby’s International Realty, which had the listing.
Behind the private, gated entrance, the house has six bedrooms, 10 baths and a million-dollar, resort-style pool. One of the noteworthy features is an air-conditioned garage that accommodates six vehicles and has a full kitchen, bath and rotating floors.
The property was originally listed last year for $5.5 million. We at LOLFed considered this to be “breaking news” more in the sense that a house was actually sold in Orlando than due to the nationality of the new owners.
About a month ago, Fatone held a massive yard sale at the house where he sold off everything from his coveted Sword of Omens from Thundercats to his Care Bear collection. So, we hope the new owners weren’t hoping for any of his kitsch, and admittedly, I hope they don’t plan to let the rotating floors in that house come into disuse. I, for one, would welcome some Chinese pop-music overlords:
What is the most gangsta thing you could possibly have on your resume? With the exception of serving in Public Enemy’s S1W or a gig as one of Ice-T and Coco’s bodyguards, the next thing that comes to mind is spending some time under the wing of the Wu-Tang Clan, entering the 36 chambers of social media promotion.
From their Craigslist posting:
Wu-Tang Management is a multi-faceted independent management company that was established in 1993 with our headquarters in Staten Island New York. After the tremendous international success of the first group released, the famed Wu-Tang Clan, we have gone down in history as the only management company to manage the entire Wu-Tang Clan, and in doing so, brought them from being a local group to international super stars.
What we are looking for:
Excellent written communication skills, with ability to communicate with diverse audiences; Interest in the music/entertainment industry; Professional demeanor; Experience with social networking (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Ning, Blogspot, etc.)
Roles and Responsibility:
online research of music blogs and social networking; expansion of online fan base; composing correspondence; Maintenance of companies social networks (Wu-World.com, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, etc.)
We might suggest that someone applying for this role provide the Wu with a business plan to spend your internship exploring newer technologies; cultivating a presence on turntable.fm and Spotify will likely be more advantageous in the long term than MySpace. Oh, and maybe disabling the music that auto-plays on wu-world.com, because 1999 called and wants its Shoutcast back.
A few other skills that might be of use come to mind, such as competency at chess (or any form of game theory) as well as knowledge of the pharmaceutical industry and military nobility of pre-industrial Japan:
All in all, this internship looks like a great opportunity… but personally, I’ll be holding out for a position at Wu-Tang Financial (wankstas need not apply; language NSFW):
Have you guys heard about the debt ceiling? Yeah, it’s in the news. Almost everybody wants to raise the debt ceiling, but they want to do it their way. Let’s listen to Remy Munasifi speakin da truuf about da debt ceilin’:
LOL, Remy.
Here’s the deal – there’s something called the Boehner plan, which is the debt-cutting plan thought up by that tea party dude who cries all the time. At first, he was like: “Yeah, I’ll vote to raise the debt ceiling by $900 billion but you need to cut $1.2 trillion over the next decade.” Then he started on rewrites because it appears not all G.O.Peeps will get on board.
Harry Reid has his own plan too, which involves raising the ceiling $2.7 trillion, and cutting spending by the same amount over the next 10 years. But chances are good the Senate will drop-kick it.
The government has until next Tuesday to raise the debt ceiling, currently at $14.29 trillion. After that, it’s default time and a probable ratings downgrade.
Most officials think that both Boehner and Reid’s plans won’t pass both houses. Obama will veto them anyway.
There’s talk among certain Republicans that they won’t vote to raise the limit unless they get a balanced budget amendment. Good luck with that one.
What we have here are Democrats accusing Republicans of playing politics with the debt limit issue without any concern for the chaos a default would cause, and we have Republicans responding by saying they have a “mandate.”
As for possible tax increases, well no Republican wants that.
I really haven’t been following this debt limit crap. I’m glad the Prez went on YouTube to help explain things.
- Bill
