We usually only give out Boot Awards for various bank CEOs, but Tony Hayward is notable, notorious, the CEO of a public company and has put his foot in his mouth with bank-CEO regularity, so it seems apropos enough of LOLFed to commemorate his ouster:
Tony has what I’d probably consider a bronze or silver parachute in this day of huge payouts – BP can terminate any exec at any time with the payment of one year’s salary, so in exchange for being the scapegoat, Tony gets what works out at last year’s rate to be £1-4 million depending on whether or not they count the bonuses.
At the time that I write this (which is 3AM Eastern, now that I do the math), rumor has it that the chosen successor will be BP’s managing director Robert Dudley, since it seems BP feels obligated to stick an American into the job at this point. Never mind that Dudley never really expressed interest in the job. Also, he’s an Amoco guy, and that’s the name a lot of advisors want BP to revert to in the US, since Americans have short memories and all it takes is a good rebranding effort to sweep a gabillion gallons of spilled crude under the rug.
Edited to add – Hayward is apparently being exiled to Siberia. He’s being offered a position on the board of TNK-BP, which is British Petroleum’s Russian venture.
Also, Jason was ready for the occasion with this oily boot which doesn’t deserve to be buried in the comments:
Documentary maker Ric Burns (brother of Ken) is in the middle of shooting (what else) a documentary about vampires and squids, so naturally Goldman came up. This hard-hitting piece will expose, once and for all, the seedy underbelly of America’s most evil corporation, shining the light of truth and justice on its many misdeeds, and bringing an end to the culture of greed that has permeated Wall Street for decades. It will do for the banking industry what The Jungle did for meatpac-
What? Oh.
Goldman Sachs Group Inc. is paying for the film, has editorial control and is overseeing the project through its marketing department, a Goldman spokesman said.
So much for that, then. One supposes this will work out exactly as if Burns’ most well-known work, The Civil War, had been financed by Sons of Confederate Veterans (hint: not well).
Also, there’s this:
The documentary is for employees only, meaning YouTube might be the only chance that other people will have to see the film.
Naturally, we’ll link you to it as soon as we get our grubby mitts on a copy.
A man dressed as Darth Vader robbed a Chase bank in Long Island on Thursday morning. Suffolk County cops are currently looking for him.
He didn’t have a light saber, just a gun, which is apparently a backup weapon for Sith lords. Hey, the Empire happens to be in a lot of debt right now, what with having to constantly rebuild Death Stars and the like. Sometimes they’ll hit banks on the outer rim planets to keep the paychecks going.
Sorry about the second straight day of links. I’m drowning at my real job and Alyx is off getting married or something. I’ll do better tomorrow, maybe.
Biggest news today is the results of the EU-ordered stress tests on 91 banks, which will determine whether Europe is allowed to continue to exist or if it must sink into the ocean.
Oh, hey, a US automaker is doing really really well, and this isn’t 1973. All it took was its two domestic competitors nearly going bankrupt and its biggest foreign competitor producing terrible murdercars.
Hungary prepares to have its rating cut to junk and for its name to be used in a thousand terrible pun headlines about same.
Work for a bank? Make a lot of money last year? Ken Feinberg is calling you out…and that’s pretty much all he’s doing. That’ll show you.
Bernanke has a plan to fix the economy: review the Fed’s options for fixing the economy. Wait, what?
GM bought another lender, AmeriCredit, because we all know how well that worked out for them last time.
Harvard professor, TARP watchdog, and all-around GILF Elizabeth Warren is one of the top names to lead the new Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. Naturally, her propensity to protect consumers has drawn some opposition to her potential nomination.
