Bernie Madoff, A WINNAR IS YOU! You may recall that last month, Allen Stanford lost his round of Ponzi Punch-out. Madoff, however, brought the prison pain to a man ten years his junior: Bernard Madoff got into a fight in the prison yard with another inmate over the stock market – and won, the New [...]

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If I went to prison for 150 years, I doubt you’d ever hear about me again, because I would rotting be in prison. But you can’t keep Bernie down, and he’s in the news again, for something terrible and dishonest, again. This time, for being recorded on a 2005 conference call telling colleagues how to [...]

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Ruth, honey, I need to say some things to you.  We both know you’ve been having some social troubles ever since The Incident.  To make matters worse, The Man took your penthouse, effectively booting you out onto the street, like the newly-minted paupers your husband helped mint, while you’re left with a mere $2.5m to [...]

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One would think that after everything that’s gone wrong for Bernie in the past twelve months or so, he wouldn’t even be left with a pot to piss in. One would be wrong, as he has enough money sitting around to hire a consultant to shop for the best prison. Granted, if you’re going to [...]

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From everywhere: Bernie Madoff’s sentencing was held today, and he’s been given what sounds like a whopping 150 years in prison, which, if he were to serve the full term, would leave him in jail up to the ripe old age of 221, in the year 2159. This sentence might make you feel better for [...]

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