LOLFED

Oh hai! We can has capital? After telling CNBC last week there was no need, Citigroup (C) dilutes their stock to raise about $3bn. Why only 3 bil? Pandit, presumably shuffling some deck chairs about, was unavailable for comment.

Mah stimulus… where iz it?

CNBC reports that SF Fed Prez Janet Yellen came out today and said she sees little to no growth, and that “the economy has all but stalled and could even contract” over the first half of the year. Market yawns, wonders why this is news. Bonus, some lol’in stallin’:

Did anyone catch Maria Bartiromo and Dylan Ratigan’s “Is your money safe?” special from outside the Bear Stearns building last night?

Srs biznezz! Hai Benny, can has White Hauz lunchn? ok. no ask abt prvt jet. thx.