The latest from Citi – another program with the ill-advised moniker of FAP (Foreclosure Alternatives Program), in which they encourage you to hand over the deed to your house and let the Bandit move in (via Jr. Deputy Accountant): In exchange for the deed on their property, CitiMortgage will allow borrowers to stay in their [...]
Entries Tagged as 'bandit'
Forecasting: Alwaleed, Ur Doin It Rong ($C)
January 18th, 2010 · 1 Comment · bandit
If you are Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal, you probably spend a lot of time thinking about the share prince of Citigroup, perhaps even more than we do here at LOLFed. He’s one of $C’s largest shareholders, has been for years, and so he sometimes gets called on to give his thoughts on where the stock [...]
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The End Is Nigh
December 10th, 2009 · 4 Comments · bailout, bandit
And we don’t just mean the end of the TARP. This may signal the End Times – not only did Bank of America actually finish paying back its TARP funds yesterday, but now Citi is in talks to do the same. Yes, that Citi! Citigroup Inc’s negotiations to repay its government bailout are uncertain but [...]
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There Is No Recession, Dogs Are Still In Therapy
October 11th, 2009 · No Comments · bandit, fail
When I saw the NYT headline this weekend that read “Whispering to Rottweilers, and to C.E.O.’s“, I truly hoped that perhaps our Pay Czar had retained Cesar Millan – star of “The Dog Whisperer”, a show where, yeah, a guy is paid a lot of money to correct dogs’ behaviors, e.g., irrational fear of your [...]
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Our Little Bank Grows Up, Leaves Nest
September 15th, 2009 · 3 Comments · all ur bankz, bailout, bandit
Finally, able to fly on its own, or at least sick of that 9 o’clock curfew (10:30 on weekends), government agency Citigroup is coming up with a crafty way to detach itself from the public teat. Citigroup is considering a plan in which the Treasury Department would sell part of its holdings in the bank, [...]
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