If Cash Rules Everything Around You, Wu-Tang Needs An Intern

July 27th, 2011 by alyx · 1 Comment · win

What is the most gangsta thing you could possibly have on your resume? With the exception of serving in Public Enemy’s S1W or a gig as one of Ice-T and Coco’s bodyguards, the next thing that comes to mind is spending some time under the wing of the Wu-Tang Clan, entering the 36 chambers of social media promotion.

From their Craigslist posting:

Wu-Tang Management is a multi-faceted independent management company that was established in 1993 with our headquarters in Staten Island New York. After the tremendous international success of the first group released, the famed Wu-Tang Clan, we have gone down in history as the only management company to manage the entire Wu-Tang Clan, and in doing so, brought them from being a local group to international super stars.

What we are looking for:
Excellent written communication skills, with ability to communicate with diverse audiences; Interest in the music/entertainment industry; Professional demeanor; Experience with social networking (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Ning, Blogspot, etc.)

Roles and Responsibility:
online research of music blogs and social networking; expansion of online fan base; composing correspondence; Maintenance of companies social networks (Wu-World.com, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, etc.)

We might suggest that someone applying for this role provide the Wu with a business plan to spend your internship exploring newer technologies; cultivating a presence on turntable.fm and Spotify will likely be more advantageous in the long term than MySpace. Oh, and maybe disabling the music that auto-plays on wu-world.com, because 1999 called and wants its Shoutcast back.

A few other skills that might be of use come to mind, such as competency at chess (or any form of game theory) as well as knowledge of the pharmaceutical industry and military nobility of pre-industrial Japan:

All in all, this internship looks like a great opportunity… but personally, I’ll be holding out for a position at Wu-Tang Financial (wankstas need not apply; language NSFW):

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