(Image source: NatalieDee.com)

In Florida, about 1 out of 6 properties is vacant right now. This statistic is somewhat misleading, as there are various condo projects and exurban housing projects that are close to 100% vacant – but the truth is, you can’t throw a rock in most neighborhoods without hitting an empty residence or two (please don’t actually do this, if you don’t mind; the property values are bad enough down here without you looky-loos taking the Abandoned Suburbia Tour and breaking all our windows, thanks).

In Apopka, a ‘burb just north of Orlando, one guy decided to move into a foreclosed home along with his wife:

Aaron Winans and his wife were living in the house on Palm View Drive (see map) for nearly a month. The problem is, it’s not theirs.

Neighbor John Tilelli is shocked. “She was fit and expecting and he looked like a normal guy, so we had no reason to believe anything else,” he told WFTV.

The house was empty because it’s being foreclosed. The Orange County Sheriff’s Office says Winans broke into the house to live there. When the owner’s real estate agent came by the house, the lock box for her keys was missing and so was her ‘for sale’ sign in the front yard.

This is kind of not news, though I will say the more common iteration is actually for a shady “agent” to rent a foreclosed property (in which the person may or may not have had an actual ownership stake at some point) to unsuspecting individuals, rather than actually moving into the property themselves.

What is actually newsworthy – or at least LOL worthy – is the guy’s defense:

Winans told deputies he was “acting as part of President Obama’s plan to recapture and revitalize abandoned properties.”

Without getting too political, I will say that yes, granted, the Making Home Affordable plan has some aspects that are nearly inscrutable, but I don’t think “affordable” ever equaled “free.”

We at LOLFed pay our respective mortgages every month like the suckers we are, but if we ever found ourselves in the position where we were taking up residence in abandoned property, we like to think we’d come up with a better excuse.

Something like:

• “Just trying to fortify the place against possible zombie invasions, officer”
• “All the houses in this neighborhood have the same floor plan – I thought this one was mine, I swear”
• “I’ll get out of here as soon as the bank can find the note that proves it isn’t my residence” (This has gotta buy you at least six months.)
• “Leaving a home with a pool of this size unoccupied is just asking for trouble. THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN”

Got a more clever excuse? Leave it in the comments…