Affected hotels, restaurants and others who have taken a hit to their business from the loss of tourism due to the Gulf oil spill probably won’t get any money from suing $BP any time soon, but Mötley Crüe got over half a million dollars for their recent appearance in Mobile, Alabama. They or may not be able to “kickstart my heart,” but could they kickstart Mobile’s economy? From the Nov. 1 issue of Fortune magazine (yes, I’m transcribing from a magazine. Print is not dead):

It’s hard to believe that hiring Mötley Crüe to headline a three-day concert was the best use of $600,000 of the $65 million BP paid the state of Alabama for the Gulf oil spill. But Lee Sentell, Alabama’s director of tourism and travel, says it went “where it would have the biggest impact” – which he felt was Mobile’s nonprofit BayFest concert on October 1-3.

Makes sense so far – another $600k in detergent for laundering seagulls wouldn’t have had the same ROI, and would’ve been the “same old situation.” Why “home sweet home” Mobile considered this a good investment:

[BayFest] offered, says [its] director Bobby Bostwick, a good return on investment. “We pay 4% taxes on every ticket, every beer, every Pepsi,” he says, generating at least $28 million to ease the tourism hit Mobile took this year.

If a 4% tax generated $28mm, BayFest showed its “wild side” by bringing in a $700 million dollar net. Well, “shout at the devil,” we’ve severely underestimated the value of our old Crüe discs, in that case. I guess now our only question is – can Vince Neil and Tommy Lee not afford to do a nonprofit festival in what is basically a disaster area on a volunteer basis? I’m shooting some “looks that kill” at you right now, Vince.