Local hero Bandit finds himself back in the news today, not so much because he has done something terrible, but rather that I found this image I made a while back and wanted an excuse to use it. Bandit finds himself in Washington today to speak before the panel that oversees (oversaw, I guess?) TARP and explain how his life is immeasurably better because of it.

Citigroup Inc. Chief Executive Officer Vikram Pandit plans to tell U.S. taxpayers he’s grateful for the $45 billion bailout that helped stave off a deposit run at the bank in 2008, a person close to the company said.

Pandit, scheduled to appear in Washington today before a panel overseeing the bank-bailout program, will acknowledge that the infusion stabilized Citigroup, said the person, who requested anonymity because the planned testimony isn’t public. Pandit will thank the government for providing the money, the person said.

Bandit’s “thanks, bro” is expected to soothe anyone and everyone who was ever upset about the failout, because the problem was never with handing money we didn’t have over to the very people who caused the problem they suddenly needed rescuing from, it was the lack of gratitude. Shucks, now that he’s expressed his gratefulness, why don’t we hand him a lot more money? Eighteen katrillion dollars seems only fair.

But this business about acknowledging that the money stabilized Citi? Is it really necessary for him to hop on a plane (he doesn’t take Acela, we assume) to come tell an oversight panel something they already know? This would be like me scheduling an entire day with my boss to tell him I keep the network running. This is the kind of thing that could just as easily have been demonstrated by emailing Elizabeth Warren a picture of Citigroup Center without a “For Sale” sign on it, with a note attached that said “thx XOXOXO”

And really, his company got $45 billion. I’m not entirely sure a simple “Thanks, next three generations of taxpayers” is really sufficient. That is less money than it would cost to bail out Greece, which is an entire country. Even a $20 toaster as a wedding gift warrants a nice handwritten thank-you note. Besides repaying the failout money, does anyone have any suggestions for what Bandit can do to truly express gratitude for not making him the captain of a sinking bank?