I really feel like I should’ve photoshopped this on a sinking houseboat or something, but tradition iz tradition. GMAC – which got a bunch more moneys while everyone was out partying for the holidays, leading me to name their CEO Michael Carpenter our New Year’s Eve party emcee – is set to report a cool five bil in losses, largely thx to ResCap, its residential mortgage division:

GMAC, the troubled finance company that last week scored a third government bailout, said Tuesday it expects to post a record fourth-quarter loss of $5 billion.

The company also said it has decided to try to sell its ResCap mortgage unit, which has lost billions of dollars since the U.S. housing market crashed. Those losses have strained the already stretched finances at GMAC, which is best known as a lender to the troubled U.S. auto industry.

Sell it? As in, expect an entity which is not the US government to give you actual money for a unit your CEO has so pleasantly described as a “millstone” around your neck and which, if it were a dog, would have mange, rabies, fewer than three legs, a serious flea infestation and would still try to bite your face off every time you threw it some dinner? Even Carpenter admits it is kind of WTF:

He said GMAC’s board entertained all alternatives for ResCap, including possible bankruptcy filings, before deciding to consider its so-called strategic alternatives.

Asked if he could describe what the alternatives might be, Carpenter replied, “Not really.” He then said GMAC might sell some mortgage assets but added that the GMAC’s plan is essentially “a blank sheet of paper.”

Three bailouts, bleeding money in six of seven quarters and a blank sheet of paper. Well, I know I’m not at all worried. Everything in Detroit will be just fine.