Typically, when a person claims to be doing God’s work, they’re feeding the poor or making Redtubes or just doing something to benefit society. Not our man Lloyd, who said that thing last week, famously, to the laughter of everyone. “You’re a bank,” says they, “and you’re actually making more money than God,” which is probably true. But that wasn’t enough for Lloyd, so he is now doing the complete opposite of God: he cancelled Christmas.

In an attempt to keep a low profile, The Goldman Sachs Group Inc. has told its employees that it won’t be hosting a corporate Christmas party this year. The investment bank is also prohibiting employees from funding their own parties, an insider at the firm told InvestmentNews.

Taken at face value, it looks like he has actually prohibited GS employees from celebrating Christmas anywhere at any time with anyone, this year. Do not mess with Lloyd – you will get the horns, which I have devilishly added to his official company portrait. He will straight come to your house and go full Grinch on you, stealing your tree, your ornaments, your presents, and your roast beast. Probably your kids too, because you know how he hates to be outdone.

Boxing Day is still safe, however. For now.