If I went to prison for 150 years, I doubt you’d ever hear about me again, because I would rotting be in prison. But you can’t keep Bernie down, and he’s in the news again, for something terrible and dishonest, again. This time, for being recorded on a 2005 conference call telling colleagues how to dodge the SEC. Or coaching witnesses, if you will.
You know it’s on the up and up when he begins the call by saying, “Obviously, first of all, this conversation never took place … OK?”
Some of Bernie’s tips? First, it’s important to possess a healthy lack of respect for the agency.
“You know, you don’t have to be too brilliant with these guys, because you don’t have to be,” Madoff said, referring to SEC investigators.
[...]
“The guys … ask a zillion different questions and we look at them sometimes and we laugh, and we say are you guys writing a book?” Madoff said. “These guys they work for five years at the commission then they become a compliance manager at a hedge fund now.”
Ha ha, the SEC is a bunch of half-witted shaved apes, barely sentient enough to wear pants, let alone investigate fraud. Also key in avoiding the SEC’s long arm (and dragging knuckles)? Don’t tell nobody nothin’.
“You don’t want to have that information because … the commission, when they ask questions, they try and draw out information,” Madoff said. “The less that you know how we execute … the better you are.”
Which, you know, doesn’t sound suspicious or anything. Nope. When someone tells me “Don’t ask” I never think it’s because they’re trying to hide something they should not be doing.
If you’re running a massive scam, try to set up a fall guy, because you don’t want to be the one going to jail for the next two lifetimes if it all falls apart.
“I’m the only one that can make the decision. … I’m the only one that pulls the trigger.”
Whoops.
Finally, remember that to whom much is given, much is expected. Give of yourself, of your time, of your money, to those in need. Do so with an open heart, because karma will repay you a hundredfold for your kindness.
At one point, Madoff interrupted the conversation to take another phone call. He returned and said, “I’m sorry. If I get any more solicitations for charity, I’m going to kill myself.”
Bill G // Sep 10, 2009 at 10:00 am
Madoff, the gift that keeps on giving. Hey, at least he had the balls to take the risk himself and not try to set up a fall guy. Is that some kind of honor among thieves or something?
AnonymousMonetarist // Sep 10, 2009 at 11:12 am
Whole damn system is/was Marked to Madoff.
Consider please the term ‘toxic assets’ being stricken from the language and replaced with ‘rich folks’ bad speculative bets’.
Or you can take the Federales blue pill and the story ends, you wake up in your Nancy Capitalist bed and find that the downside has been socialized and the upside has been piratized. D’ahr.
‘I have spoken to the heads of various Wall Street equity derivative trading desks and every single one of the senior managers told me that Bernie Madoff was a fraud. Of course no one wants undue career risk by sticking their head up and saying that the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes. As a result of this case several careers on Wall Street and in Europe will be ruined. Therefore, I have not signed nor put my name on this report. I am worried about the personal safety of myself and my family.’
-Harry Markopolos in 2005.
‘To me the SEC is utterly irrelevant. It is the federal fig leaf over the securities market. Bring back Joe Kennedy … bring back free markets … get rid of these people.’ – James Grant
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Jason // Sep 10, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I don’t know if it’s honor among thieves, I hope he gets an extra beating from the other inmates for being such a dumbass.
BB2 // Sep 10, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Did you post anything about this when it first got put in place?
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Money-market-fund-guarantee-apf-3900453001.html?x=0&sec=topStories&pos=4&asset=&ccode=
Jason // Sep 10, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Maybe! I think we were turning out posts two and three a day during those heady days last year.
Jr Deputy Accountant // Sep 10, 2009 at 5:14 pm
LMFAO @ that pic.
you guys kill me.
jturner // Sep 15, 2009 at 9:57 am
It’s pretty clear the govt, particularly the SEC, did a horrible job with the Madoff situation. And I think this trend can be applied to the economy as a whole, as unfortunately the govt has done little to try to fix the structural problems in the economy. The govt has tried to prevent the normal business cycle from running its course, in which the recession would clear out the excesses in the economy and lead to a more sustainable recovery.
They have instead tried to cure a debt problem with more debt, which I believe is very dangerous. Unfortunately though, the ones in power are the same people who mismanaged things and helped create the financial crisis.
So in my opinion, one of the few ways for those of us who understand the severity of the problems to protect themselves is to invest in gold related assets, because gold should continue to benefit from the Fed’s Keynesian efforts to avert deflation. I recently read some good articles on these topics at http://www.goldalert.com that I think are useful for investors to check out. They discuss in much detail the inflationary consequences of all the money printing, as well as the potential impact on the dollar, the gold price, and the prospects for the world economy.