Yet another year has passed without either of your beloved LOLFed writers being invited to NYC’s Fashion Meets Finance shindig. It’s doubly unfair for Alyx, who also dresses fancy, but I guess them’s the breaks.

Strictly speaking, neither of us really qualify:

The invitation to the latest Fashion Meets Finance party — an affair that shamelessly includes only women who work in fashion and men from Wall Street — declared that the dark days are over — not just for the economy, but in the dating market. “We are here to announce the balance is restoring itself to the ecosystem of the New York dating community,” the party organizers said on their cheeky Web site.

Alyx doesn’t work in fashion, and it has been argued that I’m only a man in the loosest sense of the word. So I guess we’re out. And they had scary bouncers checking ID at the door, too.

In an effort to screen out pretenders, a woman at the door in tortoise-shell sunglasses inspected each guest’s business card.

The whole point of the FMF getogether, really, is for women in fashion to meet men in finance, for “mergers”, because it is the natural law of things that fashion ladies and finance fellas are exclusively interested in each other. This is because women in finance are hideous career-minded wretches, and men in fashion are…shall we say, incompatible. Of course, no respectable fashion employee would be caught dead with a tech millionaire, and if a banker isn’t going to date a buyer for DVF he might as well be picking up hookers in a borrowed Lotus. I am not making these things up.

The idea behind Fashion Meets Finance began in 2007 with Beth Newill, a merchandiser for Ann Taylor at the time, who found the garment district was a poor neighborhood in which to meet men. After speaking with a male friend who worked in finance and had expressed the same frustration about the absence of eligible women in the financial district, Ms. Newill organized regular happy hours for the two groups.

Really though, I don’t know what the point of these meetups are. Wall Street’s two most desirable men, Jamie and the Bandit (note to self: pitch buddy film called Jamie and the Bandit), are both already married and not in the market for strange. As a result, the women at FMF are fighting over scraps. How great of a party can this be when the most choice piece of man-tail is a junior trader at Morgan Stanley. Sure, she may go home with you, but you’ll know who she’s really thinking of when she makes you put on a bandit mask while she calls you a jerk. FMF? FML.

But never fear, while your portfolio may be on life support, romance is not dead.

The women were encouraged to hold on because the recession is over, and it would only be a matter of time before a boyfriend in finance enabled them to quit their jobs to be “tennis moms.”

[...]

His own social life, at least, did not suffer because of recession, he said, but he still didn’t see the potential to meet someone special this night.

“Let’s just say I’m not going to find my future ex-wife here,” he said.

My heart just grew three sizes. These things pop up every few months, so if you’re not on the list you need to get on the list. And even though I’m already happily married, I went ahead and signed up for the next big event, Blogging Meets Bomb Techs. Should be a blast.