Not really a liveblog but here you go.

9:35AM – O hai! Ken Lewis here! I’m feeling a little less “constrained,” probably as a result of switching from briefs to boxers. The bank? You know I can’t be talking about the bank, you read that we were under double-secret probation and playing musical chairs.

9:40 – And now the bad news. Q1 and Q2 looked okay because we reported some one-time gains. In Q3 and Q4, one-time’s got no case.

9:45 – We’re still handing out credit cards like there’s no tomorrow [even though we've been curtailing the credit lines of our best customers], so make of that what you will.

9:50 – We were minting money like Goldman this quarter, too. But… uh… legacy costs took most of it. Hey, how did those guys not get caught with their CDS pants down?

9:55 – Retail and office space. Yeah, not doing so well on that.

10:00 – Consumer credit card losses? Check! See, aren’t you glad we issued 300,000 more cards? No one is buying cars any more, so we’re not charging off as many car loans, though.

10:05 – Similarly, we’re not losing as much on loans to homebuilders because there aren’t as many homebuilders around, either.

10:10 – Alyx does some real work, Meredith Whitney asks something about California housing, some other stuff goes on that isn’t particularly interesting.

10:30 – Hey, do you want to speculate on a bottom in consumer delinquency? Um, no, not really, have you noticed those unemployment figures?

10:35 – Still going on about unemployment. 10%+ rates are, you know, kind of a big deal.

10:40 – Yes, we are kind of tired of having a TARP over our house. No, we are not as fly as Lloyd and Jamie. It is going to be there for a while.

10:45 – Exposure to California’s government? Yeah, we’ve got that. But… it’s UNDER CONTROL. We swear!

10:50 – Kennay: “Yes, there are reserves on our balance sheet. Yes, I’m okay with that. Rumors that I own a crystal ball are, alas, unfounded. If I did, I would start telling fortunes on the street in Manhattan for a consistent revenue-stream, so that our reserves could continue to build”

Fin.