Breaking, shocking news: sometimes executives use corporate jets for personal use. Even more earth-shattering: some of those executives work for bailed-out banks! Oh noes! Cue the populist outrage!

How was this top-secret information ferreted out? The WSJ, which is supposed to have everyone’s back and just be cool about stuff like this, started doing some of that investigative journalism stuff you read about in history books. To wit:

Flight records showed many occasions when banks receiving federal money flew their planes to destinations near resorts or executives’ vacation homes in Europe, Mexico, the Caribbean, south Florida and Aspen, according to the paper.

Come on, Wall Street Journal. There are a million perfectly legitimate reasons why a bank executive would need to take a corporate jet on a weekend trip to Aspen. Did you not know that Aspen is one of the financial nerve centers of the capitalist world? It’s just rude of you to assume that just because someone goes to the Caribbean over a holiday weekend when businesses are traditionally closed and they just happen to have a vacation home nearby and they don’t tell anyone who their passengers are but you found a couple of thongs and a dead hooker wedged between the seats, that that’s proof of inappropriate use of company and taxpayer moneys.

And really, it’s not like they were flying financial journalists back from Hong Kong and maybe they totally [CENSORED] all over the Citijet and [CENSORED] in the [REDACTED] and then [CENSORED] it off with her wig.