The green shoots are not coming up from under the ice on the consumer side at GE and BAC, evidently.

From Consumerist, a tale of why you can no longer drop more than a fat hundo at a Banana Republic store:

My friend recently went to Banana Republic and while she was checking out her Banana Republic credit card was declined. She called me after speaking to a BR store credit card rep on the phone because the rep told her that “BR has been lowering ALL credit card limits in light of the current economic crisis. Customers are welcome to call back to ask that their limit be raised in 3-6 months.” This is rather normal, however, they lowered her credit limit from $1000 to $100. I’d say 80% of their items cost more than $100? She pays her bills on time and doesn’t carry a balance. I checked my card and they haven’t lowered the limit yet. This policy of lowering the limits across the board is ridiculous.

The Banana Republic/Gap/Old Navy (GPS) card is issued by Monogram Credit Card Bank of Georgia, a branch of the better known GE Money Bank. It is not like anyone is shopping at any of these stores (seriously when was the last time you went to the Gap?), but with a $100 credit line at Banana Republic, there’s not much you could buy – not from their full-price current-season merchandise, anyway.

Bank of America slashed my credit line personally within the last week after not touching it during their last few rounds of Let’s Try To Hose The Consumer – my last statement showed pretty much the same credit limit I’ve had for the last few years with them, but when I checked my card online this morning, I see my limit has been cut in half. It’s kind of irrelevant because I never carry a balance on the card, but I think it would be fun to call them and rant anyway. (I did inquire as to why and got the standard “it’s not you, it’s me” line.)

If I gave enough of a crap to berate them, it would go something like this:

Alyx: All that money you bitches took from the TARP and you have to curtail my credit line?

BAC: Um… you know, li-bore… cost of like.. lending… prohibitive…

Alyx: You realize I was contemplating putting a new car on this card just to get the rewards points.

BAC: Ummm…

Alyx: And now that you cut my credit line all I can put on the card without going over my limit is a Kia. A F**KING KIA

BAC: Well… we’ve been cutting limits across the board…

Alyx: YOU WOULD BE FORCING ME TO PURCHASE A LITTLE FOREIGN CAR INSTEAD OF PATRONIZING THE AMERICAN AUTO INDUSTRY AND ITS FINE MIDSIZE VEHICLES AND WHEN YOU DO THAT THE TERRORISTS WIN

BAC: If you need to have the decision reviewed… maybe I can transfer you to…

Alyx: Oh f*ck it I’ll just put it on my AmEx. *click*

Actually, I wouldn’t call unless I could get Ken Lewis himself on the phone, because this conversation would be much more hilarious between me and Kennay than it would be between me and some poor guy who has to work their phone lines in Delaware.

From the “no surprise” department, Clusterstock reports this morning that on their stress test, BAC gets a grade of FAIL:

Bank of America (BAC) will need to find more capital following its stress test, says Credit Suisse analyst Moshe Orenbuch. In a report out this morning, Orenbuch says the bank’s capital cushions remain “thin”  and that investors should expect further dilution.

Thrown under the bus: BAC’s commercial and consumer credit portfolios. Which, obviously, equates to “Alyx is not economically viable.”