And just like that, America surrendered its primacy in the financial world because of a “new reality” and “changing times,” opting for a zany policy of cooperation and multilateralism, at least as it pertains to economics. Like that’ll ever work.  Just because other nations are becoming more and more relevant in an increasingly intertwined global financial system doesn’t mean we need to stop our long and storied policy of telling everyone else what to do just because we can.

“In a world that is as complex as it is, it is very important for us to be able to forge partnerships as opposed to simply dictating solutions,” Obama told a press conference at the conclusion of the summit.

Oh. Guess we will. But who do they think they are to stop taking orders from the US? We invented the subprime mortgage, the collateralized debt obligation, the credit default swap, the hedge fund, either deregulated or failed to regulate any of them, and…and…

Okay, I concede the point. Fine, so maaaaaaybe it is American-style finance that nearly destroyed capitalism and many of the countries that follow it. Hey, could have happened to anyone, right? I mean, who could have possibly predicted that allowing the banking system to operate pretty much the way it wanted could, in just over ten short years, take us from prosperity to near Bartertown? We’ll chalk this one up to experience.

So, out of this, we can expect at least a couple of generations’ return to trading the invisible hand of Adam Smith for the visible boot of John Maynard Keynes, because it turns out that he might have been onto something after all.  Leaders at the conference all signed a solemn promise to start regulatin’ again, and that global free-market capitalism was doo-doo and anybody who believes in it is a great big stupid-head.

What did not come out of all this is everyone else going home and pushing through giant stimulus packages of their own, which might be smart since no one knows how ours is going to work out just yet. 

In an effort to promote harmony, Obama soft-pedaled earlier U.S. demands that the summit agree on a specific target for fiscal stimulus in the face of opposition from France and Germany. Instead, he settled for a vague pledge that the leaders would do whatever it takes to revive the global economy.

You hear that? Whatever it takes. Even if it means killing a man.

Plans are also afoot to not let tax haven countries sit at the same lunchroom table with G-20 nations anymore if they don’t stop being tax haven countries. That, plus agreements in principle to limit compensation for bank executives and to start regulatin’ on hedge funds, has led just about everyone to call this year’s meeting a success, as opposed to previous years where US and UK leaders spent most of the week sitting in a corner, pointing at Angela Merkel and giggling into cupped hands.