1. If Paul Krugman is too late to solve the financial crisis, time better slow the fuck down.

2. Paul Krugman can divide by zero.

3. There is no capitalism. Just a list of banks that Paul Krugman has allowed to live.

4. There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Paul Krugman’s computer. Paul Krugman is always in control.

5. Paul Krugman counted to infinity – twice.

6. If you have five dollars and Paul Krugman has five dollars, Paul Krugman has more money than you.

7. Paul Krugman does not sleep. He calculates.

8. Paul Krugman once challenged Chuck Norris in a “Who has more testicles?” contest. Paul Krugman won by 5.

9. Paul Krugman’s beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China.

10. Paul Krugman invented economics.

11. When taking the SAT, write “Paul Krugman” for every answer. You will score a 2000.

12. Paul Krugman fully discloses his own vulnerabilities: none.

13. Remember – if you ever lose your password, you can still ask Paul Krugman.

14. When Paul Krugman divides the circumference of a circle by the radius, the answer is rational.