Bandit is hereby stripped of his mask, which is too good for the likes of him, and is instead fitted with a dunce cap for the duration of his fail. Now Citi is trying to out-Thain the master, by planning to spend an estimated $10m for a new executive suite for Bandit and his merry band of miscreants and ne’er-do-wells at the company’s Park Avenue office (a block away from Citigroup Center, where Bandit runs the risk of breathing the same air as the little people).

Affidavits filed with New York’s Department of Buildings show Citigroup expects to pay at least $3.2 million for basic construction such as wall removal, plumbing and fire safety. By the time architect’s fees and expenses such as furniture are added, the tally for the offices at the bank’s Park Avenue headquarters will be at least three times as high, according to a person familiar with the project who declined to be identified because he’s not authorized to comment. Citigroup said the project will help it save money over time. (emphasis mine)

When Lolo decided to ruin my day this morning by sharing this news with me, the only explanation I could come up with for that last sentence was that by spending all that money now, while construction prices are low, it will save the company from having to pay for construction in a boom market.  You have to have nice offices to attract the best talent, so they’re like bonuses in a way. Right now, execs live in the third and fourth floors of that building, which seems to be a terrible inconvenience.  Moving everyone onto the second floor will allow the company to lay off the migrant workers it employs to carry the executives up and down the single flight of stairs, as plans to install a coin-operated elevator proved unpopular. How? How does spending $10m on a single floor of an office building translate to cost savings, ever? Unless Citi has been watching My House Is Worth What? on HGTV, and is under the impression that they’re going to get all of that money back when they sell the building, that makes no sense whatsoever. There is virtually no cost savings to be had here when the company still owns the entire building, including the two floors that are soon to be vacated.

The company says that the plans were started in June, even though layoffs were well underway even then, obtained demolution permits in September, after the financial implosion was well underway, and even received some of the city permits after the bank had begun receiving TARP money, and somehow failed to stop for a moment and consider, hey, we couldn’t survive without going to the government for a deal that David Scatino would recognize, maybe put this on hold until we’re the kind of company that deserves to have offices this nice.

So what are we getting for our money?

Plans and instructions for the bank’s contractors, on file with the city, specify the installation of at least one Sub-Zero Inc. refrigerator and icemaker in the renovated space, along with “premium grade” millwork and Madico Inc. “Safety Shield 800” blast-proof window film. The project encompasses 17 private offices, each with space for administrative assistants, as well as two conference rooms and open areas with “soft seating,” according to the plans.

Oh, good call on the blast-proof window film. You might need that.