For any of you who still believe our banks are not nationalized (I mean you, Ken Lewis), new Fed guidelines require bailout-receiving banks to check in with the Fed before issuing dividends. Banks are also not allowed to date until they are 16, and cannot borrow the car so don’t even ask.
Entries from February 24th, 2009
Don’t Worry, Be Happy
February 24th, 2009 · 1 Comment · bernanke
(h/t to BG for this one) Can haz a relief rally! Bernanke spoke today on prospects for recovery, with all the expected language about downside risks, unemployment and the prospect of a full recovery taking years, in addition to the prospects of bank nationalization. There seems to be some selective hearing going on, though. Check [...]
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C 419
February 24th, 2009 · 3 Comments · all ur bankz, fail
419? No, we’re not talking about C’s share price, which is probably closer to half that. We’re talking about the Bandit Bank gettin’ swindled by Nigerians, no mask required. From the desk of Mr. H.E. Ato Newaye-kirstos Gebreab, your assistance is needed: To carry out the elaborate scheme, prosecutors in New York said on Friday, [...]
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An Excellent Day On The Markets
February 23rd, 2009 · 3 Comments · bailout, fail, links, markets, writedowns
- Today on Wall Street, the Dow climbed to new heights. Wait, what? Upside-down? Oh. Nevermind. Epic, epic failing. It’s May 1997 all over again, the last time the index saw such a number. – Speaking of failure, AIG ran out of crack money and wants more, even though it literally cannot do anything more [...]
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We’re All Going To Need Masks
February 23rd, 2009 · 9 Comments · all ur bankz, bailout, bandit, fail
If you’re like me, you’ve long lamented the fact that, goshdarnit, the US does not own enough of Citi. But I have good news. Your prayers have been answered! Way back when Citi was getting bailout money to the tune of $45, the government got for its trouble preferred shares that it could convert to [...]
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