- Jamie Dimon says you will nationalize JPMorgan when you pry it from his cold dead hands.

- NPR suspects Dating a Banker Anonymous to be fake, restores my faith in humanity just a tiny bit.

- CNBC, after crowning the ShamWOW top of the as-seen-on-TV heap, now offers us the Billy Mays Economic Indicator of fail.

- Superbowl tickets are the cheapest in years! It’s a good time to be a Steelers fan with easy access to the game site (e.g., me). I always like how every year, someone shows radar of all the private jets leaving the site of the Superbowl, like a cloud of gnats. Guessing it won’t be as thick this year.

- Need a drink? Retox in Vegas. The best time to do this would be from February 21-23, because that is when I will be doing it.

- Pop goes the T-bill!

- Duel in Denver: two newspapers enter, one newspaper leaves. Or perhaps no newspapers leave, and the Thunderdome is riddled with ink and so much shredded birdcage lining. Print is dead™.

- Police reprimanded for boosting $70 in nickels; breakroom vending machine likely to move a lot less powdered donuts next month.