A convo popped up on the Bernie Madoff post below about faking one’s own death (see incompetent attempt to do so here by Marcus Schrenker, pictured above in full douchery regalia – you may recall hedgie Sam Israel failed epically at this, too) and the efficacy of such things. Schrenker failed on numerous levels, mostly in terms of inconsistency, and also executed some brilliant maneuvers like giving the police his real name.
We can learn from his failings, but is there really a “best practices” guide to the subject? Dealbreaker has some suggestions this morning which you would think would be common sense – pick a story, and stick to it, people! – but apparently aren’t.
Bernie Madoff would probably love to fake his death, but I’m not sure he would be able to pull it off. First, it would be helpful to have an accomplice, and it is highly likely he has pissed off everyone in his inner circle, because from what I’ve heard most of his pals and relatives were invested with him (and the ones who weren’t, turned him in). Second, he’s already on house arrest so he can’t get out of the country to fake a kidnapping, have his private plane disappear, drive to a nearby bridge, etc. Faking a murder might be easiest if he were actually in jail – you could pay some guards to pretend you got shanked and switch out the bodies while you disappear into the night – but that’s farfetched, especially if he gets sent to a white-collar resort facility.
I just don’t think Madoff has much hope in this arena. If you can think of a plausible scenario for him, I’d love to hear it.
Lolo, ESQ // Jan 13, 2009 at 11:36 am
Time for Madoff to pull a Ken Lay
TonyS // Jan 13, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Well the trick is, he needs to get ahold of some money. If he can do that, just offer the RussianGoons™ that show up to kill him more money than whatever their contract is worth to murder the nearest hobo who looks something like him instead.
Ironically, coming across some money is the one thing he’s not likely to be doing for quite a while…
alyx // Jan 13, 2009 at 12:26 pm
I wonder if $1MM in Tiffany watches is enough to get you safe passage into Latvia these days.
TonyS // Jan 13, 2009 at 12:36 pm
And… wait! I just recalled what little of American Gangster I saw… why didn’t Bernie take a million or two and set it aside for bug-out money?
Or was his hubris so great that he actually thought he wouldn’t get caught and crucified for defrauding rich people? The laws of this and every other country exist solely for the purpose of protecting rich people’s money.
RobT // Jan 13, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I’m trying to figure out the extremity of Schrenker’s developmental retardation. He had a pile of money and an airplane and he still can’t manage to escape.
I am guessing he probably wears velcro shoes and drank his New Year’s Dom from a sippy cup.
alyx // Jan 13, 2009 at 1:16 pm
RobT, I’m with you. He probably had his mittens pinned to his sleeves, so as to not leave them in the plane by accident.
And now he’s $1.5MM worse off for having totaled the plane!
Can’t be long til he’s found.
TonyS // Jan 13, 2009 at 1:29 pm
… but he got his 15 minutes of fame!
TonyS // Jan 14, 2009 at 12:13 pm
PWN’D. They found him last night…
Three days?! Seriously? *I* could stay gone for longer than 3 days!
alyx // Jan 14, 2009 at 12:15 pm
He tried to slit his wrists when they found him but couldn’t even get that right!
TonyS // Jan 14, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Remember, kids… it’s “down the road”, not “across the street.”