eLuxury.com, that online shopping destination for overpriveliged consumers who enjoy wasting their extra money on two-thousand-dollar purses the size of a Tic-Tac container while children are starving all around the world, is giving up on the “shopping” part of its business model to become yet another website dedicated to luxury that no one in the entire world will read.  Now the wealthy will have to go shop in malls, like common people, where they run the very real risk of being accidentally touched by someone who has to drive their own car.

LVMH (Louis Vuitton Moet Hennesy, except with an umlaut over the “e” in Moet, as if they are worthy of touching Lemmy Kilmister’s mole) gives no reason whatsoever for the abrupt shuttering of the online business, but we all know it is because they are failures at e-commerce.  So what’s next for the failed retailer?

“Starting in mid 2009, eLuxury’s new mission will be to create an ‘e-window’ into the world of luxury, by serving as an information reference for luxury in fashion, art de vivre, leather goods, wines and spirits, watches and jewelry, gastronomy, cars, yachts and services,” the spokeswoman said. “To that end, eLuxury intends to develop collaborations with the most prestigious names in the world of luxury media, as well as the main contributors of the luxury world.”

That website already exists, a hundred times over.  No one reads them, either.  Let’s face it, this is not the best time to be n outrageously-priced luxury brand.  LV scrapped plans to build a flagship store in Tokyo last month.  Chanel is laying off 200 workers.  Prada had SALE SIGNS in its Milan store windows (Versace maintains it will have its store managers commit hari-kari before stooping THAT low).  Bulgari isn’t even guessing at its 2009 sales.

Walmart, on the other hand, is still printing money, and the worst news they have is that they are just not printing it quite as fast as in Q308.