Known terrorist news organization Bloomberg News had filed a FoIA suit against the Fed, demanding to know what, exactly, the central bank had spent over $2 trillion in emergency loans on, and what kind of assets they received as collateral. Unreasonable, right?
The Fed sure seems to think so. They read the suit and they were all, “Nuh uh, we ain’t gotta tell you nothin’. Trade secrets! Trade secrets!” and Bloomberg was like, “Public shaming!” and then things degraded into a slapfight. One is inclined to wonder, though: what cost $2 trillion and is shamefully hidden by Ben? Who got these loans? The list of who didn’t get these loans might be shorter. And what assets are the Fed sitting on, that are worth $2 trillion? Where are they being kept? Does the Fed have a giant impound lot out back that is filled with yachts, solid gold busts of famed bank CEOs, and trophy wives stored in argon so they don’t wrinkle? Post your theories in the comments.
alyx // Dec 12, 2008 at 9:45 am
Whyyyyy is LoLo not here to tell us they spent it all on dollar thongs, Patron and Shamwow?
Me, though, I just think Bernanke is wearing a “Stop Snitchin’” t-shirt under his suit, because he is that gangsta.
Jason // Dec 12, 2008 at 9:53 am
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l95/cheesefriesdc/genosshirt.jpg
lavacake // Dec 12, 2008 at 9:59 am
Bet those assets, if any, are worthless. And, the Fed probably doesn’t know who got loans because they didn’t require any papers, hard copy or electronic, from the rich beggars.
Jason // Dec 12, 2008 at 10:02 am
Which, I’m sure, is the actual reason for remaining tight-lipped. But it’s not nearly as fun as reckless speculation and rumormongering.
CB // Dec 12, 2008 at 10:55 am
They’ve been exchanging the funds for things like thongs, bandit masks and banana smugglers while hosting lavish swinger parties, I think. Bandit is their party boy host, no doubt, and Ben & Hank mastermind the secret locations. They’re keeping it all hush hush because Frank, Dodd & Pelosi are members too & they’ve got photos to prove it.
lavacake // Dec 12, 2008 at 11:23 am
For some reason this is all reminding me of an Avengers episode called “A Touch of Brimstone”; maybe they’re all members of the Hellfire Club. Pelosi as Emma Peel “Queen of Sin”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Touch_of_Brimstone
sozzy // Dec 15, 2008 at 3:36 am
They bought out Leslie’s Bear Market, but they paid 10% extra, not 10% off.
LOLFed » Thursday Evening Further Reading // Dec 18, 2008 at 9:08 pm
[...] the cool kids are doing it – first Bloomberg sued the Fed over that whole FOIA mess, now Fox Biz is filing suit against Treasury. “The initial request, [...]