Like Ford before it, GM also has one of those “business plan” things that, had it created some years ago, might have saved the company from its current sorry state.  This “business plan” is filled with fantastic ideas that GM’s management stole from WSJ opinion pieces on what it needs to do, but the company is not without its own doom and gloom and no-pressure statements: it needs $4b by the end of the year or it will fail and we are all going to die, in fire.

GM would also like $12b by the end of March, and access to another $6b.  I woud like a helicopter and a three-breasted woman, so let’s see which one of us gets our wish first.  In exchange for the suitcases of money, GM has promised to cut 20,000 to 30,000 jobs, chop a quarter of its dealerships, pay Rick Wagoner $1, and shutter or backburner all but four of its brands.  There were also token promises to tell the UAW to get stuffed, which is about as likely as it is at Ford.

Chrysler came in with a request for $7b, and provided few enough details so as not to warrant a separate post.  So Ford’s $9b plus GM’s $12b plus Chrysler’s $7b plus the $6b GM might need comes out to…$34b, which is one metric buttload more than the $25b they were offered.  Of course, if the Medium 3 possessed even a third-grader’s grasp on basic mathematics, one suspects they would not be in their current pickle.