Stumped on what the best gifts are in a year like this? Look no further…

- Books: Your favorite market-theorist might enjoy The Black Swan, Financial Self-Defense For Investors, or Against The Gods: The Remarkable Story Of Risk. Order ‘em used or with a remainder mark if you think you can get away with either the “in these times, you get more bang for your buck with gently used items” or the “it’s the environmentally-friendly thing to do – think green, recycle!” excuse. Some of these are available for $0.01.

- Bear repellent. Great stocking stuffer for your favorite trader to keep on his desk, if s/he still has one

- Sock-darning kit (and maybe this inspirational poster from 1947). Thrift is in style, and those socks you were about to throw out can be brought back to life. Hint: someone get this for Paul Wolfowitz. Now that he’s at AEI he’s probably got more free time for sock-darning than he did at the World Bank.

- Shopping for someone who took big losses this year? If they’re from real estate, consider the Real Estate Crying Towel. Scotch also works, and the proportionately larger the loss is, the proportionately cheaper the scotch can be. If they lost money on Cramer picks, a Jim Cramer bobblehead for decapitation purposes could be ideal

- Ramen. Enough said.

- Finally, for the big spender, how about a ride in Ben Bernanke’s helicopter?

(Image credit ICHC.)

If you’re among the lucky ones who still have an American Express card at a level that allows concierge service, call them up and tell them you’d like to arrange a ride with our Federal Reserve chair as he drops money from on high. Less extravagant version: the Bernanke Helicopter Drop action figure.