In re Hoover v. Boncompagni, 08-cv-09159, U.S. District Court, Southern District of New York (Manhattan): just what we all want at a time where excesses are coming to an end, is a book called “Hedge Fund Wives” that lays it all on the line about those excesses that are coming to an end. Do you really want to read a book about hedgies trying the tasting menu at Per Se when Dollar Menunaire status is nigh? No? Yet these two – a vacuum heiress-by-injection and some girl who lives in Wisconsin with her mom – are going to fight to the death in court over who has the rights to a collection of those tales:

Tatiana Boncompagni Hoover is married to Max Hoover, heir to the vacuum fortune. She’s worked for several news publications, including The Wall Street Journal and the American Lawyer, and last year she published her first novel, “Gilding Lilly” (HarperCollins). Natasha Boncompagni, according to this copyright suit, filed today by Tatiana, lives in Wisconsin with her parents and grandmother. An online bio says Natasha is a Wall Street veteran whose career began in UBS’ investment bank. Attempts to reach Natasha were not successful.

Allegedly, Natasha offered to help with the research on “Hedge Fund Wives,” and Tatiana declined, presumably because had already collected enough stories about what it is like to jet-ski at Wisconsin’s Lake Geneva. So Natasha allegedly did what any reasonable human being would do, which is to steal a copy of the book, blackmail the publisher and issue it all over the intertubes:

Then, in September, things turned sour. Tatiana alleges that Natasha surreptitiously copied portions of the book during trips to Tatiana’s New York home. Tatiana also claims that Natasha filed for a joint copyright by allegedly providing the Copyright Office with a version of the book that she’d downloaded from Tatiana’s computer. Then, earlier this month, Natasha allegedly referred to “Hedge Fund Wives” as “our book.” After that she began sending letters to HarperCollins people allegedly threatening to publish the book on the Web if they didn’t respond. On Thursday, Natasha allegedly removed the portion of the manuscript she’d allegedly published on www.hedgefundwives.com and www.hedgefundwives.net. Natasha remains in custody of the “purloined versions” of the book, according to the complaint.

In general, the only Desperate Hedgewives stories most of the schadenfreude-loving public is going to be interested in are the ones that involve 2009, the salad bar at the Sizzler, and, perhaps, whether one can maintain a Tinsley Mortimer-esque socialite pose while working nine-hour shifts at a drive-thru inquiring if one would like fries with that. I couldn’t stomach the “exclusive preview,” but considering the oddly prescient claim on Natasha’s website that the book is a story of what happens when the entire industry would start to crumble, you have to hope that is where they went.