Fortress Investment Group (FIG), crazy hedgies that they are, find themselves facing a whole lot of debt problems right now.

Fortress’ first problem is Intrawest, a Canadian ski resort company. They have almost $1.7bn in debt due in a couple weeks, which they need to refinance, and creditors are asking them to put an additional $100 million dollars worth of skin in the game to get the deal done.

(Hot Dog only came in #2 in SkiNet’s Top 10 Skiing Films of All Time. A travesty.)

Their second is Gagfah:

…which is a Teutonic residential real estate company with a funny name. Well, CNBC says German, my research says Belgian, but either way, they own and rent out a decent amount of real estate in Germany. No idea how much equity Fortress had to pony up to save that one, but they tell the FT that “investors in Gagfah have had back most of their investment.”

Anyway, FT doesn’t expect them to file chapter 11, so not only does that mean none of us will be picking up a ski resort or Cold War-era flat on the cheap, it also makes this just another story about a hedge fund scrounging for capital. And that, folks, is BREAKING NEWS.