RED ALERT! COX BLOCKS THE SHORTS!

Effective immediately, you will no longer be able to short 799 financial stocks, nakedly or otherwise. The SEC’s ban extends until October 2, at which point they hope the Sith Lord short-sellers will have picked up a new hobby, such as pinochle, or cribbage, or perhaps bridge, which we all know worked so well for Jimmy Cayne.

(thx to Jason for the graphic!)

Of course, with the government rolling out all the backstops, you would be an idiot to short anything right now. So enjoy this feel-good directive while you can, sit back, relax, pour yourself some Scotch and watch the government prop up all those stocks you love to hate!

I bet Jimmy’s looking for a bridge partner.